It has been 137 days since we lost Jon Patte. Every day we think of him and ask ourselves, 'How would Jon do it?'
The 'Shoebox' in its present form was founded on August 24th, 2011. The Shoebox Committee met for the first time in the Legree's barn. The idea for our first fundraiser was a suggestion that was whole heartily endorsed by every one present.
From the very beginning all the pieces fell into place. The band, The Neil Young'uns, was very interested in participating. Doug Summers donated Annandale Golf and Country Club as the venue. Rapid Reproductions of Oshawa donated the posters and the tickets. The Crooked Unkle, of Oshawa donated the menu items. The Committee members went to work on advertising, ticket sales, and acquiring silent and live auction items. Most of the Committee members had previous experience in organizing an event but this one was special. Jon would say,
"A successful team BEATS with one heart!"
He would have expected it to be well run. The only weakness would be he wouldn't be there and yet I think he was.
The evening, Saturday December 17th, was a RESOUNDING success! The hall was festive and welcoming.
The Neil Young'uns were outstanding! They performed three live sets that included many of Jon's favourite Neil songs. They even dedicated Motorcycle Momma to yours truly. It was the first Neil Young song Jon learned to play and he perfected it 30 years ago while we were on our honeymoon.
Family members managed the ticket booth. Jon's mom Jacqui Patte, his sister Ellyn Patte, helped me collect advance tickets and sell tickets at the door. His sister Jayne Whitehouse and her friend Pat sold the 50/50 draw tickets. The winner, Paul Wetherup collected the $275 purse. Tamara Patte's many close friends (Jody, Rob, Kendal, Josh, Jesse, Steve, Tye and Kelly with Shawsey) worked the drink ticket table and the 'Red-Nose' DD table. Jake Patte, Katie Campagnolo, and brother and sister dynamos Kenton and Nic Scott delivered the food prepared by The Crooked Unkle staff. The bar was a smooth operation under the guidance of Skylar an Annandale bartender, Rich LaBarron a Bull Dog bartender and Anna Sloggett a Crooked Unkle bartender.
Jake and Rich did a remarkable job with the toonie toss tournament for Toronto vs Boston hockey tickets.
The super duper Silent and Live Auction component was sensational. Sheila and Mike Glanfield, Deanna and Ken Scott, and Phil Pisani did an amazing job of finding the items, presenting the items and collecting the payment for the items. Randy Potter was terrific during the Live Auction segment but then he is a master professional auctioneer.
Tamara Patte was the overall organizer. She did her dad proud.
There are so many people and organizations that need to be thanked for their time and generosity. Our estimated final tally has grown to approximately $15 000. This is so incredible!!
Silent and Live Auction Donators:
Annandale Golf and Curling Club Aquilibrium Salons
Auto Tire & Safeties Beanz Coffee House
Bittmore Tap and Grill Body Boomers
Bistro 238 Brock House Restaurant
Bull Dog Pub Brimacomb Ski Club
Libbie Burns-Felted Fabrics Dr. Fred Campbell
Castle Building Supplies -D. Mitchell Don Chase- Artist
Clinic Eyewear Commit 2 Be Fit
Community Mortgage- Scott Smith Chris Douglas
Don Dupius- Artist Eternal Hot Yoga
Mike Glanfield- County Town Antiques Goodlife Fitness
Hands in Motion- Paul Slemon Dan and Theresa Hansen
The Honourable Mayor- John Henry Carol Hinch
John Hinch Hot Rocks Restaurant
It's Worth Repeating Jack Astors
Jax Filling Station Tony Johnson- Artist
Lakeridge Health- Whitby Lakeridge Links
Dr.Walid Lodin Lone Star
Momma's Restaurant Oshawa Golf and Curling Club
Oshawa Airport Golf Club The Patte Family
Svend Paulsen Aaron Pisani
Kristy Pisani Phil Pisani
Pita Deli Premier Fitness
Rapid Reproductions Roughley Insurance- Grant Musselman
Ralph and Doreen Rowe Royal Canadian Legion Br. #43
Roy's Enterprises Ken Scott
Kenton Scott Scotties Skis and Boards
Al and Sue Simeson Don Skillen- Artist
Frank Smith Gord Somerville
Spirit Sportwear Suzanne's Aesthetics
Swiss Chalet Top Cuts
Cathy Uens Wimpy's Diner
Watson's Glen Golf Club Whispering Ridge Golf Club
Winchester Golf Club Karl Baron
I did a 'Santa Claus' and checked my lists twice but with so many incredible supporters I am truly sorry if I left anyone out. STAY GOLD
Coming Blogs:
Jon's 'Shoebox' trips
'Shoebox' Random Acts of Kindness
PS: I of course did forget someone and I apologize profusely. Jim Bosgraaf donated the Patrick Roy jersey that was live auctioned. I will get the hard copy thank you out to Jim as soon as I return to Oshawa mid month.
The Jon Patte Shoebox Foundation
WISH a little wish
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Friday, 30 December 2011
Our life after the diagnosis
I find it difficult creating a blog. How could our life be of interest to strangers? If I didn't believe an adult wish foundation was something very much needed I would not organize my thoughts for others to read.
Jon spent 31 years teaching elementary school. He was considered a gym teacher by most but he was most proud of his time in a classroom teaching every subject. In September 2009 he began the journey of 'the last': the last first day, the last Halloween, the last Christmas concert, the last set of report cards... and so on. He loved being a teacher and was looking forward to doing something else as well. It would somehow revolve around teaching; perhaps coaching in the community and continuing his hockey mentoring job with Whitby. He was looking forward to life after the job.
In June we celebrated his retirement with friends from every aspect of his life. Jon was a joiner. He played recreational sports, watched young hockey players develop through his mentoring position, was an avid golfer and golf spectator. The summer of 2009 was filling up with opportunities to follow our son in Amateur events, participate in family celebrations, and create opportunities to celebrate this next chapter with friends. Jon was feeling great and retirement was exciting.
In November he traveled to Florida with some friends to watch NCAA basketball in Daytona. The Akron Zips were playing at a Big Ten tournament and he counted down the days. Jake was a student at Akron and we loved everything about the school. Our friends sported all the paraphernalia from hats, to shirts, to sweats to jackets. They were a beautiful sight. Jon was feeling sluggish and had a cough that gave some grief but on the whole he was still ready for anything retirement offered. I was still working and Tamara was involved in her first classroom placement. He arrived home in time for a scheduled physical and passed it with flying colours. His doctor scheduled other tests when Jon complained that he just didn't feel good. How lucky to have a doctor who listens to the patient not just test results.
In February they discovered stomach cancer and then discovered it had traveled to his liver and his lymphatic system. I know that most families have been touched by this disease and for those unfortunate enough to experience it as intimately as we did I offer my deepest sympathy. There is no rhyme nor reason for who receives this sentence. It just happens and in a split second your world is forever changed. The people who are fortunate enough to experience a cure are forever changed as well. Standing in an examination room expecting to hear that surgery is an option, only to discover that it is not defies words. You can not 'walk in those shoes'. My heart breaks thinking about strangers facing that conversation and I worry constantly about the danger of someone I love living it.
Hearing the diagnosis is just the beginning of an incredibly arduous journey that no one should ever experience. Finding the right center, the right doctor and the right treatment plan is daunting. You are constantly questioning decisions and fretting that time is rushing faster and you are running out of it and that is minor to how the patient must be feeling.
I have heard how 'lucky' so and so was but there is no 'lucky' with a cancer diagnosis only perhaps some are more fortunate than others. We were fortunate that the treatment gave Jon eleven really healthy months when he was an incredibly sick person. We lost him when he was 56 and our children were 23 and 26. He never met grandchildren nor watched either child marry their soul mate. There was no 'lucky' for any of us: Jon, his family and his friends were all losers.
I don't think there is any good way to face cancer. I think you just face it the best way you can. Someone told us : 'To live with cancer you must live!' So we did our best to live, and live well.
Over the last 5 years we have experienced cancer diagnoses with 6 good friends. Three friends are still with us and three lives were taken from us. Each friend had a different cancer. I often stop and think, "How is that possible? What are we, as a society, doing wrong?" Someone told me that the cure is being hidden because too many people are getting rich but I refuse to believe that. No one could possibly permit such suffering.
Early in the treatment phase a friend, who lost his wife to cancer, gave us a book to read. It is titled, The Power of Two, and it is the story of survival and care-giving. It helped me tremendously because care-giving for the most important person in your life is frightening. The care-giver must sometimes be the loudest advocate for treatment and clarity. I found it difficult to ask questions while with the doctor. We both sort of were numb for doctor visits and only formulated questions while driving home. The book helped by suggesting we call the primary care nurse after the fact. My solution was simpler. My doctor monitored my physical and mental well-being throughout Jon's treatment phase. He would see me the next day and he would patiently answer my questions as best he could. He gave me an outlet for my fears and I usually left his office ready to face whatever the cancer threw our way. He helped me stay strong for Jon.
Perhaps the kindest gift we received through this period was the visits from people. Some visitors started out as good friends and some became good friends during this period. They let us share our pain by listening and by offering their love and laughter. Cancer is best defeated by fostering a positive outlook on life and the gift of your time is priceless.
I hope I am strong enough to help someone else- paying it forward.
Preview for tomorrow:
Jon's favourite singer/songwriter was Neil Young. We ran a 'Shoebox' fundraiser on December 17th, and an outstanding band, The Neil Young'uns showcased the event. Find out tomorrow what an organizational masterpiece the committee put together.
Jon spent 31 years teaching elementary school. He was considered a gym teacher by most but he was most proud of his time in a classroom teaching every subject. In September 2009 he began the journey of 'the last': the last first day, the last Halloween, the last Christmas concert, the last set of report cards... and so on. He loved being a teacher and was looking forward to doing something else as well. It would somehow revolve around teaching; perhaps coaching in the community and continuing his hockey mentoring job with Whitby. He was looking forward to life after the job.
 |
| At the Retirement |
In June we celebrated his retirement with friends from every aspect of his life. Jon was a joiner. He played recreational sports, watched young hockey players develop through his mentoring position, was an avid golfer and golf spectator. The summer of 2009 was filling up with opportunities to follow our son in Amateur events, participate in family celebrations, and create opportunities to celebrate this next chapter with friends. Jon was feeling great and retirement was exciting.
 |
| Golf in Daytona |
In February they discovered stomach cancer and then discovered it had traveled to his liver and his lymphatic system. I know that most families have been touched by this disease and for those unfortunate enough to experience it as intimately as we did I offer my deepest sympathy. There is no rhyme nor reason for who receives this sentence. It just happens and in a split second your world is forever changed. The people who are fortunate enough to experience a cure are forever changed as well. Standing in an examination room expecting to hear that surgery is an option, only to discover that it is not defies words. You can not 'walk in those shoes'. My heart breaks thinking about strangers facing that conversation and I worry constantly about the danger of someone I love living it.
Hearing the diagnosis is just the beginning of an incredibly arduous journey that no one should ever experience. Finding the right center, the right doctor and the right treatment plan is daunting. You are constantly questioning decisions and fretting that time is rushing faster and you are running out of it and that is minor to how the patient must be feeling.
I have heard how 'lucky' so and so was but there is no 'lucky' with a cancer diagnosis only perhaps some are more fortunate than others. We were fortunate that the treatment gave Jon eleven really healthy months when he was an incredibly sick person. We lost him when he was 56 and our children were 23 and 26. He never met grandchildren nor watched either child marry their soul mate. There was no 'lucky' for any of us: Jon, his family and his friends were all losers.
I don't think there is any good way to face cancer. I think you just face it the best way you can. Someone told us : 'To live with cancer you must live!' So we did our best to live, and live well.
Over the last 5 years we have experienced cancer diagnoses with 6 good friends. Three friends are still with us and three lives were taken from us. Each friend had a different cancer. I often stop and think, "How is that possible? What are we, as a society, doing wrong?" Someone told me that the cure is being hidden because too many people are getting rich but I refuse to believe that. No one could possibly permit such suffering.
Early in the treatment phase a friend, who lost his wife to cancer, gave us a book to read. It is titled, The Power of Two, and it is the story of survival and care-giving. It helped me tremendously because care-giving for the most important person in your life is frightening. The care-giver must sometimes be the loudest advocate for treatment and clarity. I found it difficult to ask questions while with the doctor. We both sort of were numb for doctor visits and only formulated questions while driving home. The book helped by suggesting we call the primary care nurse after the fact. My solution was simpler. My doctor monitored my physical and mental well-being throughout Jon's treatment phase. He would see me the next day and he would patiently answer my questions as best he could. He gave me an outlet for my fears and I usually left his office ready to face whatever the cancer threw our way. He helped me stay strong for Jon.
Perhaps the kindest gift we received through this period was the visits from people. Some visitors started out as good friends and some became good friends during this period. They let us share our pain by listening and by offering their love and laughter. Cancer is best defeated by fostering a positive outlook on life and the gift of your time is priceless.
I hope I am strong enough to help someone else- paying it forward.
Preview for tomorrow:
Jon's favourite singer/songwriter was Neil Young. We ran a 'Shoebox' fundraiser on December 17th, and an outstanding band, The Neil Young'uns showcased the event. Find out tomorrow what an organizational masterpiece the committee put together.
The History of 'The Shoebox'
The 'Shoebox' was created and used long before Jon Patte was diagnosed with cancer. Jon and three friends created the 'Shoebox' as a tool to save monies for adventures. They would each deposit $25 dollars into the 'Shoebox' each month and all pro-line winnings. When they had saved enough they would take the money and take a trip together. The trip was always to Las Vegas, preferably during March Madness, and they would spend the week following their favourite college teams compete for the coveted NCAA tournament title. They would follow all other sports as well. The 'Shoebox' allowed for a guilt free adventure.
After Jon was diagnosed with stomach cancer that had metastasized into other organs a secret fund raiser was organized by his friends. Jon received his own 'Shoebox'. It's purpose was for eliminating bucket list dreams and creating memories for us to cherish. Jon used the funds for himself, for his family, and for his friends. From March 2010 until April 2011 Jon traveled regularly; sometimes with me, sometimes with me and the kids (Tamara and Jacob), and sometimes with friends.
On August 17th, 2011 Jon Patte passed away quietly at home. We had made plans for a 'Celebration of Life' at our home and I was tasked with the responsibility of fulfilling his wishes.
Our children wanted to create something that would honour his memory and communicate to others the kind of man he was and somehow ease the loss his family and wide circle of friends were experiencing. We recognize that we are not alone in our loss. So many families have experience with this horrid disease.
They saw a need for an adult wish foundation and friends and strangers answered their call. 'The Jon Patte Shoebox' Foundation was born. Recognizing the need for such an agency was reinforced by the generosity of so many, however realizing the dream of fulfilling a wish for another human being comes with difficulties.
How do you find the individuals?
How do you go about granting a wish?
Do you set a dollar amount and then leave the decision of how the money is spent in the hands of the recipient? That's what people did for us.
Do you offer 'random acts of kindness' while searching for a wish recipient? That has been the intent so far.
We can not find a home with an existing charity so do we take the next step and apply for Charity Status?
We are living with our personal grief of losing this gentle man. He reminds us:
"It's nice to be important but it is more important to be nice!
Tomorrow: The Christmas Fundraiser.
January 1: The trips Jon took.
After Jon was diagnosed with stomach cancer that had metastasized into other organs a secret fund raiser was organized by his friends. Jon received his own 'Shoebox'. It's purpose was for eliminating bucket list dreams and creating memories for us to cherish. Jon used the funds for himself, for his family, and for his friends. From March 2010 until April 2011 Jon traveled regularly; sometimes with me, sometimes with me and the kids (Tamara and Jacob), and sometimes with friends.
On August 17th, 2011 Jon Patte passed away quietly at home. We had made plans for a 'Celebration of Life' at our home and I was tasked with the responsibility of fulfilling his wishes.
Our children wanted to create something that would honour his memory and communicate to others the kind of man he was and somehow ease the loss his family and wide circle of friends were experiencing. We recognize that we are not alone in our loss. So many families have experience with this horrid disease.
They saw a need for an adult wish foundation and friends and strangers answered their call. 'The Jon Patte Shoebox' Foundation was born. Recognizing the need for such an agency was reinforced by the generosity of so many, however realizing the dream of fulfilling a wish for another human being comes with difficulties.
How do you find the individuals?
How do you go about granting a wish?
Do you set a dollar amount and then leave the decision of how the money is spent in the hands of the recipient? That's what people did for us.
Do you offer 'random acts of kindness' while searching for a wish recipient? That has been the intent so far.
We can not find a home with an existing charity so do we take the next step and apply for Charity Status?
We are living with our personal grief of losing this gentle man. He reminds us:
"It's nice to be important but it is more important to be nice!
Tomorrow: The Christmas Fundraiser.
January 1: The trips Jon took.
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